The Employment Bureau, by Archie Naish

The Employment Bureau, by Archie Naish

It was always my ambition

To obtain a good position 

And to emulate the magnates of the day.

And it's really most surprising

How my hopes are realising,

For I've struck a little mine that's come to stay.

I'm an agent by profession

But, avoiding retrogression,

I agentise in everything I can.

From cooks to public speakers

And from actors to Gazekas,

I run the biggest biz that ever ran.

I supply in great variety

All the needs in high society,

From caddy to a gushing guinea guest.

I've footmen tall and stately

Who can foot it most sedately,

And butlers who can buttle with the best

I furnish halls baronial,

And in matters matrimonial

I've made the biggest hit that can be made.

If a lady wants a partner

Who will please and not dishearten'er,

I'll send him on to order carriage paid

So if you lack employment or you're wanting to employ,

You needn't wait or wander very far.

You simply come to me, I take my little fee,

Put you on the books and there you are.